In honour of her being here (and me not being there) today's Wednesday poem is "How To be Alone" by the lovely and talented Tanya Davis of Halifax.
I have always loved this poem. But I used to love it because I thought that she was way braver than I could ever be. And because my biggest fear in the world was being alone.
But I love it even more now, for obvious reasons.
I love the serendipity of seeing the poetry festival announcement, which reminded me of this beautiful poem and video. I love that it reminds me of the ways in which we can use romance and sex or just romance or just sex in ways that are to our own detriment - as a barrier against aloneness - and it reminds me of how much I really do not want to do that. (Not that there is anything wrong about either/both of these things for their own sake, but that when we use them as a means of distraction, and repeat patterns that ought not to be repeated, they aren't as lovely as they might otherwise be is all. And this happens all of the time... which... is a bummer). I especially love this video after a rotten by-myself sick day, which was spent in a prone, fairly comatose state, held captive by romantic comedies - god those things are horrible! (The only people who like romantic comedies are those who are still in the happy phase of a relationship, or total masochists. It likely doesn't take a genius to figure out where I fit in this scenario... Jeez - no wonder I never watch TV).
So today, I'll watch Tanya's video a few (hundred times) after I put the babies to bed, and think of my lovely friends who are out and able to see and enjoy her.(Lucky friends - whoop extra loud for me!). Yay for Tanya Davis, and for "How to be Alone." She is a breath of fresh air in a rom-com obsessed world...
And yay for my current preoccupation with living as authentically as I can, even (or especially?) if that means alone-ness, and no matter how scary said commitment is.
Play it. I promise you won't be sorry you did.