Thursday, August 11, 2011


It's happening almost daily now.  I get ma'amed.  You all probably know what I'm talking about.  At the check out in the grocery store, at the gas station, at the library, and wherever else I happen to be toting around my smalls (though it happens without them around, too, which is really a pisser).  And it kills me.  Really kills me.  Curdles-my-blood-curls-my-toes-fingernails-on-a-chalkboard-visibly-wince-smack-in-the-face kind of kills me.  And it's happening with enough frequency these days to make a girl feel, you know, a bit downtrodden. 

I would one million times rather be called miss or sweetie or toots, little lady or honey, sugar or 'my lover' (but only from someone over 50 and from Newfoundland.  East Coasters will know what I mean, here), than be called ma'am. (And I don't give a rat's ass if this kills my feminist street cred).  Ma'am erases any semblance of hot-stuffness I once (may or may not have) had and replaces it with  I'm-sorry-you're-all-washed-up-and-you've-now-entirely-run-out-of-any-last-vestiges-of-ever-being-cute-sexy-or-otherwise-attractive. Ma'am-ness.  It ain't pretty.  It so ain't pretty.  I spend a considerable amount of time every fucking morning to feel pretty and lovely and NOT look, well, like a ma'am. 

Apparently this is isn't working...

Ma'am I am.



  1. Hey I KWIM....
    but here's the flip side- I have been to a butcher where a lot of young men in their early twenties work. They address EVERY woman as "young lady"... and the irony is HUGE. I looked over my sunglasses at one fellow once, and he got a huge grin and we had a laugh about it... I am not sure that is preferable! But I hate the Ma'am thing too but it is better than a total farce-tongue-in-cheek-wink-wink "young lady". Embrace the age, and make it wise an' sexy ;)

  2. Ma'am. I have only gotten it a couple times here and there. And from VERY young farm-type boys. I imagine once I start getting it a lot I'll want to cry. Thankfully, I look young for my age.

    I would never call you ma'am, ma'am. ;)
    (hee hee)

  3. UGH... I know what you mean!!! When I get it I reply, "miss works just fine". My little guy is only 13.5 months and I get the Ma'am all the time... even when I'm not carrying him on my hip. I can't have lost all of my cute queerness now that I'm a mom... or have I?