Monday, May 30, 2011

TheStar 'Genderless' baby's mother responds to media frenzy

TheStar 'Genderless' baby's mother responds to media frenzy

(Heather Mallick also wrote a reasonably good response to the feeding frenzy at Parent Central). 

And then, immediately beside the articles and links, a poll for Star readers:

"The Star's reporting on a Toronto couple who have decided to raise their baby 'genderless' has elicited a firestorm of responses. After reading the story, do you think Storm is a boy or a girl?"

What Fuckwits.


  1. It's certainly not a choice I would have made. But her children are healthy, well cared for, loved, nurtured... too many kids out there aren't.

    I found it weird. Strange. Bothersome.
    But it's not my family. Not my choices.

    And as parents, we do a lot of 2nd guessing and there's always the daily cup of guilt. I think all parents should be supported as long as they're not hurting their kids. And it seems to me that what that family is doing is loving their children.

    Does it look like the way I raised my family?
    Does it need to?
    Nope again.

  2. It is kind of sad as our society tries to label everything and put everybody is some kind of pre labeled boxes for their own comfort.

    Does that matter if you let the child figure things out on his/her own?
    I am pretty sure Storm will put a name to what he/she has and how society likes to call it.

    And why would it be somebody else's business?

    - Is that harming a child in any way? no
    - Would identifying Storm’s gender change the way Storm sees the world? No
    - Would that make Storm’s live more difficult? no

    I think people are flipping not because parents chose to do this but because the rest of the society will be confused and will not know how to react around a child like that?

    Information about things and clarity brings control over certain aspects of our lives as nobody wants to look like an idiot. Lack of identifiers will cause chaos. If you do not have "he" or "she" to use, that means you have to use Storm a lot and, in some ways, it cuts down of meaningless small talk one could have.

  3. For reasons unbeknownst to me, blogger won't let me sign into my own blog right now. Anyhoo - this'll teach me to post something when I'm feeling too tired and inarticulate to actually write.

    I support Storm's parents and think they are making a brave, though incredibly logistically difficult, choice. I am often (okay, almost always) angered and frustrated by what seems like the inevitability of gendering children in such sexist ways that are so culturally ingrained they pass for 'normal'. I am often frustrated with myself acquiecsing to these gender norms, however unwittingly.

    And my fuckwits comment was entirely directed at the creators of the TO Star poll, which misses the point entirely.


    Mama T

  4. I actually know of some people who have raised their children this way - though not to the same extent. Simply raising them without the constrictions of gender based decision making. Allowing them to choose how they dress, choose how they wear their hair (as many of us do). When asked (and people ALWAYS asked) whether they were boys or girls, the response was "why do you ask?" and no answer was given.

    The extensive gender division put on kids these days bothers me to no end. Particularly when things like toys are marketed as "boys toys" and "girls toys". My boys shop from both sections - (more on the "girls" side than the "boys" actually - with no input from me) and they like their hair long. About a year ago my eldest asked me to cut his hair and after much discussion about whether it was what he really wanted, I cut it. He loved it for a week and then wanted it back!

    My youngest is constantly referred to as "she" which inevitably leads to the "oh she is the prettiest little thing isn't she!?!"

    My response is always "thank you, I agree".

  5. I'm right there with ya Suzy :)