Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Dear Lu Lu Lemon

You are pure evil.  I went in against my better judgement because I knew I couldn't afford the clothes (And I've railed against them previously ;). But I need some workout pants - and there you were.  Hey - did you know that you only go up to size 12?  Huh.  Guess you do.  Fat chicks don't want to run or workout or do yoga anyways, right? (Though - just a thought here - maybe they would if you made them some nice clothes, mmmm?).  Anyhow.  I tried the things on.  And dammit if they didn't make my ass look better than it has in years and likely ever will again. You people are evil.  Evil. (and possibly geniuses).  I'm a little fragile right now and apparently a good-looking ass is all it takes for me to drop almost 100$ on workout pants in a store whose body size politics (and also chic now-ness) kinda piss me off. 

Then there's the small issue of the bag.  You put my pants in a reusable bag that says things like "Friends are more important than money" (which is really good to hear, because I spent all my fucking money on your Pants and my Ass), or "The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness," or "Do at least one thing each day that you're afraid of."  I'm sorry Lu Lu.  You make great Pants.  Really.  You do.  They even deserve that capital letter I have them back there.  For real. 

But - shhhhhhhhhhhhh - don't talk.  


Mama T

P.S.  Also - could you expand yoursizes so I can feel a bit less guilty when I go buy my next pair?

P.P.S.  You are Evil. Evil. Evil. (and also bum geniuses).


  1. Oh, so totally right.... evil geniuses for sure. I drop $ there and curse them at the very same time!

  2. I hate how exercise stores make it look as though anyone size 12 or over (that would include me) doesn't deserve good-looking workout clothes. So I did a bit of web surfing and found:

    Junonia (women size 14 and up):
    Team Estrogen:

    You may like what they have to offer.

  3. I was also surprised when I brought my mother to a store for work out clothes. She is small, like me, but her butt looks like it's shaped weirdly or something (I always thought it may be because she wears her pants so high on her waist...) I thought they would work their butt magic on her as well. THEY DIDN'T. I felt so bad that my momma's ass wouldn't be so magically transformed! She bought some nice, less tight, work out pants there, but there was no magic, nope...

  4. I live in my Lululemon pants and kick myself for not investing at $8 a share when they first went public. (Now trading at $96.) Stretchy pants that make your butt look good are gold.

    Even finding size 10s or 12s is difficult - much of the time, the store is packed with people but it's hard to find anything above size 8 on the rack. Don't bother asking a clerk - they never have anything larger hidden away in the back.

    Little known fact: Lululemon does make size 14 but they get very few in store - gotta grab them when you see them.

    I haven't tried shopping online but that may generate a better selection of sizes.

    If I'd bought shares instead of pants, I'd be a lot better off, but my bum wouldn't look as good.