sometimes....

So - I'm sitting here in a state of...what?  Overwhelmedness. Tiredness. Trying not to cry-ness. Trying to breathe-ness, This is a week of supreme and wild busy.  The kind of week I dreaded going into this school venture.  The kind that made me believe it wasn't really do-able. The kind that makes me still wonder, now and again, if I am not entirely bat-shit crazy for thinking divorce and single parenting and heading into phding made any kind of good sense.  For the record, it does *not* make any kind of good sense. Though that won't stop me from trying my very best.

Anyways - this week. On top of having assignments on top of assignments mounting for the week - I also agreed to do two guest lectures on queer parenting and early childhood education tomorrow. And to be a respondent on a panel at a conference on Friday. I *want* to do these things. I *can* do these things. They are fun things. But they add to the frey of an already overwhelming week.

Enter call text from L this morning. Boy-o has been up all night barfing. So my week with babes starts early. With a poor, fever-y bub.  And of course, I'm immeasurably glad that I can be here for him. That I can snuggle him and care for him. He is my *most* important priority. This goes without saying.  But the level of overwhelmedness just increased a gazillion-fold. Exponentially. 

What do I do if I can't get any work done? What do I do if he's still sick tomorrow? Or Girlio comes down with it? Or me? 

Days like this make me think I'm a total moron (or at the very, very least - incredibly naïve) for thinking this can be done...

Hopefully by tomorrow I will remember why I thought it made sense.