Monday, March 25, 2013

mindless fashion post (aka a wee bit of much needed tongue-in-cheeky levity)

This morning, it occurred to me that I am a freaking high maintenance dresser.  Okay, yes, I'm a femme.  I've never really thought of myself as 'high-femme.' But lately I'm beginning to wonder.  I plan outfits in advance of an event or outing.  Like, pretty much any outing that isn't going to a friend's place to watch a movie. Which is to say, I plan three potential outfits (always, always three) just in case the first two aren't quite right the day of. Generally, this will include at least one casual outfit (some rockin' tight jeans and sweet girly shoes, for instance), a middle-ground, semi-'conservative' choice (the-I'm-trying-not-to-look-like-I'm-trying-too-hard-but-who-are-we-kidding option) and one of the saucy-fancy-girl-high-ish-femme variety (there are generally outfits that scream 'Yes. Yes I do try hard. And aren't you glad???'). But there are so so many other issues that come into play when trying to figure out what to wear.

Venue.  Inside?  Outside?  If it's at somebody's house, is it a shoes on or off house? (Femmes *LOVE* shoes on houses, friends, just so you know). If it's a no-shoes house, this puts the kibosh on many outfits that may need some good heel height and or extra bit of something-something.  And on that note - will it be a standing or sitting sort of time? Is there dancing involved? I can rock heels, even really tall ones, for quite a long stretch of time.  Because a little pain is definitely worth it for good shoe-dom. But some of them are more painful than others....

Event. What's it for? Is my general penchant for tight and/or boobilicious inappropriate? Is it work related? School related? Or just my buddies at the bar (who get the benefit of my penchant of tight and boobilicious, well, often.  Lucky, lucky friends :).  Ought I to opt for slightly naughty librarian instead? Am I going to be WAY overdressed? (I'm rarely underdressed, so I tend not to worry about this, at least). Can I dress in my usual possibly too-young-to-be-appropriate way?  Or am I required to act my 'age'?

Queer or Straight? Am I going to be in a room full of queers who mistake me (again) for straight? (Oddly, this happens less with my lip pierced.  I have NO idea why this is). How can I gay-it-up without sacrificing my inner girly-girl? Am I going to be in a room full of straight folks who assume that I am too, therefore having to come out zillions of times over? When I go to super straight events, I'm often force myself to go much less girly than my natural inclination leads me, in the hopes of avoiding this process.

Hot? Cold? Sweater? No sweater? Dancing? No Dancing? House? Bar? School/Work?  It's all so complicated.

And then there's shoes.

And don't even get me started on the underneath-the-outfit outfit which may or may not be of consequence.

Sigh.  It's a lotta work. ;)


  1. I find not a single thing in this post that sounds even remotely unnecessary to the thought process when it comes to dressing.

  2. You mean everyone is an neurotic as me???