Travelling with smalls is stressful in general. Traveling with smalls when you are outnumbered really, really blows. I can feel
My shoulders rise up to somewhere around my neck just thinking about entering the airport in anticipation of the frustration I know full well is about to occur. This includes (in no particular order):
1. one goes this way, one goes the other way syndrome, which makes me repeatedly have to decide which child to round up first (a calculated on the spot decision based on age, crowd levels and who's going the fastest) and leave my carry on baggage unattended as on lookers glance reproachfully. 2. One goes slow, one goes fast, and neither of them pay attention to where we're actually headed. 3. Refusal to put favourite stuffs through the x-ray machine, because stuffs are afraid of the dark. 4. Sudden child deafness syndrome, whereby neither are able to gear my voice at all. 5. Having to pee urgently while in line up to get on the plane or during take-off and landing. 6. The fascination with tray tables, making other passengers angry and rightfully so. 7. The need to express excessively loud displeasure when I attempt to deter the tray table fascination, which will only occur if neighbors on the plane directly next to us are fast asleep. 8. Throw down knock 'em out tantrums for any available reason. 9. M.A.P.'s. (this stands for massive airplane poops), which require squeezing both kids into an itty bitty space and, well, dealing with the M.A.P. 10. All of their favourite, carefully packed carry-on amusements are suddenly boring. Which inevitably will lead to me getting plastered in stickers instead of the damn sticker book. 11. 'Helpful'strangers who feel the need to let me know that 'Awww - they're just tired' whenever I reach the end if my patience tether, making me feel simultaneously like a bad and homicidal mother. 12. Attempting to keep their drinks and your own from spilling, particularly in light of # 6. 13. Glares from passengers around any number of normal kid related activities (making noise, making a mess, trying to make friends with other passengers, etc etc etc.) 14. Navigating airports that are not in any way child friendly. 15. Attempting to get children to wait in line-ups to check in, at security, get on the plane etc. is neither fun nor pretty.
Yep - anticipation of the fun fun fun of single parent air travel - makes a girl's shoulders a little tense just thinking of all the magical possibilities!
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