I am putting it out there. Out there, out there. No, I haven't been reading 'The Secret.' I'm just sort of hoping that if I put it out there (yes, out there, out there), I will squish all the insecurities that make me stay put and really get going to make it happen.
So - here it is. I want out. Well - a little bit out, anyways. Just enough to reclaim some of the formerly me of me.
I want - hmmmm - I think I want that old PhD. But because I didn't figure that out in time to actually apply for this year, it seems that I will have to chill for a year and want something a little different. (Insert repeated ass-kicking here).
So, dear Universe. How about a part-time job? Preferably sometime late this summer. One that lets me use my brain. And my skills which are of the general nerd/researcher/writer/project coordinator/sex-health educator/social service-y type variety. (Yes - I am aware that this is an odd variety. Anyhoo). And yes, one that pays me. And then I want a daycare. A wicked cool (accredited!) daycare that has amazing programming for Girlio, and possibly Boy-o, depending on the hours of said job.
And I want to go out more. (And not in that insipid 'mom's night out' business. What is with that term, anways Universe? We schlep shit and do shit-work and laundry and dishes and wipe noses and asses and for this get granted the occasional outing, dubbed 'moms' night out'? I freaking hate that term. Makes me twitchy.) Anyways, as I was discussing prior to losing myself in rant, I'd like to talk to my wife more (about topics sometimes of the non-child-rearing-variety). Talk to friends more (about topics sometimes of the non-child-rearing variety). Go to gallery opennings and bookstores and coffee shops and bars and river valley walks. This will require the discovery of a golden, reliable, lovely babysitter (who does not come up on the criminal record or child abuse registry checks, please!) for my beautiful, delightful (and sometimes exhausted) babes.
I know I'm asking a lot, Universe. I'm not asking for it to fall into my lap. I'm not asking for all at once. I'm not asking for perfection. I'll work for it. I've already started. I was just wondering if maybe you'd, you know, be willing to partner with me on a few things.
Because I think I might be worth it. It's just sometimes a little difficult to think of the reasons why these days.
Yours in gratitude,