HOw to get everyone to look at your knockers...

Just take your son to the library.  Okay, you might have to take MY son to the library. 

We were dropping off some garden spoils to my good friend, a librarian.  And as we are leaving, my son announces in his normal announcing voice:
 "Guess there's no BRA today!"  "I don't see BRA anywhere!" 

At which time I feel several sets of eyes leveling on my boobs.  He is saying this so convincingly, that despite the fact that bras have been holding up the considerable knockers fate decided to bestow upon me in grade 5 -gee thanks for that fate - I even find myself looking down to make sure I have the girls, you know, secured.  Yup.  All is well (although by now I'm totally blushing and somewhat paranoid that library patrons are still trying to catch a glimpse of my apparently wild and free boobs). 

"What do you mean, 'No bra?'" I ask Boy-o. 

"You know!" he says, annoyed that it isn't OBVIOUS.  "He works with Kim!"

"Honey, do you mean ROD?" I query.

"Oh, yeah.  Rod.  No Rod today!"  He parrots back.

Rod (not Bra!) is the librarian that Boy-o thinks is a super-star because he looks like one of The Wiggles.

And that friends, in a nutshell, is how to get everyone to look at your knockers.