Tuesday, September 28, 2010

playgroup drop-outs.

There is a dearth of activities for the one year old set here in Redneckville.  I know this because I have researched every kind of child-friendly-program-offering facility there is.  And yet, here we are, dropping out of the one program we found after taking in a mere class.

The 45 minutes went as follows:
  • 15 minutes of free play while parents sign in attendance sheet.  (Okay, good so far).
  • Making the children put all of the toys away for circle time.  (Alrighty - the kiddos were just getting warmed up, but maybe some good stuff will ensue?).
  • Circle time, which consisted of taking attendance and expecting children to raise their hand when their name is called.  (Say What?!  Girlio still calls her own reflection "baby!")    Also consisted of a detailed explanation of the craft to follow, including raising every single colour one by one (ahem - fall colours only for the fall craft - and yes, yes you are detecting a note of derision right there) and expecting the children to repeat this colour out loud.  (Okay - they're one.)  By this time, the children (and I) are crushingly bored and all over the place, as the facilitator looks beseechingly at parents to 'reign them in.'
  • Painting activity, which is slotted to last 10 minutes, of course only lasts 2, and results in great, great, great amounts of mess.  Both of these things seems to surprise facilitator.   Clean-up takes another 10 minutes, apparently making the program 'run behind'.
  • Getting 5 minutes allotted for snack-time, and then expecting parents to promptly put snack away for storytime.  (M-kay - snack with one year olds is like grazing.  You can't just put it away after five minutes.  Five minutes hasn't even given them enough time to stop staring at the other one year olds or stop picking the lint off their socks long enough to take a single bite!)  We (and a few other parents 'n tots) rebel and take our snack with us to circle time. 
  • Circle time again.  The facilitator notices that the kids are SUPER restless and all over the place, so tries to get them to follow a stretching routine with her, which, you now, they don't.  Then time for a story, which is too long and involved for one year olds.   Story-time followed by two songs, which are quite involved and meant to be sung every class, so children can learn the words and actions (which are too many for ME to memorize).  During which time most of the children are too busy walking away to pay much attention . . .
And then... whew!  Class dismissed.   But not before I overhear:  "It's never too early to introduce a little structure to kids!"   

A little structure, my ass. 

It's never too early to make your child a drop-out.


  1. Okay. I work with school age. THEY can't even eat a snack that fast.

    Circle time, huh?
    Sounds a little lofty.

  2. Whoa, have they never worked with toddlers before? That's way too structured for them. And 5 minutes for snack? My kids would have flipped out if I'd taken their snack away after 5 minutes. LOL.

  3. LOL sounds like the boring library program I once took the kids to. We never attended again. Sorry there isn't more around you...

  4. oh. my. word. i am dumbfounded! raising your hand? five minutes for snack? circle time? having to memorize TWO songs? does this facilitator/director/teacher not realise that she is working with toddlers? i am sorry but i would have followed suit and dropped out as well. sounds to me that they really do not know what they are doing.

  5. Yes - I thought it was quite ridiculous too... DEFINITELY not geared towards the appropriate age group!

  6. That's absolutely crazy! o.O Seems like you have bad luck... first this then the crazy toddler swimming lessons instructor!