Saturday, September 4, 2010


The next time some random stranger feels the need to ask: "So which one of you is their mother?/their real mother?"  I am going to:

a)  ask "Why is it important for you to know this?"

b)  reply "We're homos intent on raising up the next generation in the gay 'lifestyle' to woo away your straight children to our secret gay army."

c) lose my shit.


  1. Forgive my ignorance on this one and maybe you've tried it, but I think it would be a classic moment to see their reaction if you said "we both are".

    I always say, ask a stupid question get a stupid answer. And to those people who say there are no stupid questions ... oh, yes there most certainly are!

  2. Nikki - not ignorant. That is indeed my tried and true response. My frustration with it is that the question itself negates the possibility of our family's existence. And my children are there to witness both that negation, as well as their stupid, nervous or ignorant reactions. And what my kids learn from this, especially Boy-o, who is old enough to start picking up on people's reactions, is that our family is weird/bad/wrong.

  3. Don't mistake ignorance for discrimination.

    Think about using your blog as a forum for education and discussion vs. an ongoing rant of what is wrong with the world.

  4. That makes total sense. I also wonder what THEIR kids learn when they ask such questions.

    I recognize we all make mistakes, but I try to be hyper vigilant about explaining things when Palmer observes something new that is different from our family.

    For example, at the mall the other day, he saw a woman who was completely covered (except for her eyes). I imagine she may have been muslim? Palmer saw her and gasped and whispered to me "Look mom, I see a witch".

    Can you imagine if I had just let that go? Instead I saw that as a perfect opportunity to clarify. Though he may only just barely be 4 and could never grasp all the reasons why the woman dressed as she did, he can understand that she was not in costume (and thus was not a witch) and that that is simply how some women in other cultures dress.

  5. Hey Anonymous. I didn't say it was discrimination. Sometimes people's reactions are discrimination, sometimes ignorance, and the odd time, acceptance and/or welcome(gasp!). The latter is nice. Really nice.

    But - for the record - I'll think about my blog how I like. And for the record, record, I don't actually see my blog as an ongoing rant about what is wrong with the world. That may be how you see it, but it's not how I do.

    I hope people might see my blog as a forum for education. But that's up to them, not me.

  6. Nikki - yeah for sure! So many excellent forums for kid discussion... and the amazing thing about kiddos is their capacity for open mindedness -they are amazing little creatures :)

  7. Is it wierd that we have never been asked that question?

  8. Suzy - I dunno. We get it a lot! A lot a lot! Almost everytime we're all out together. But if you don't, that's awesome! Maybe it's dependent on where you live?

  9. I can't imagine asking someone a question like that. First, of course is the obvious. Aren't you both their moms?

    Second, why is it that people think they can even ask things like that in the first place? How rude!

    On the other hand, it may just be idle curiosity from people who need to get out more.