Monday, October 11, 2010

why we will never fly Air Canada again

She came by the give us the schpiel, and I expected it to be just like any other 'flying with infant' schpiel.   But instead, Ms. Highfalutin-flight-attendant proceeded to lecture us on how she believed that Transport Canada regulations for flying with children were wrong, and that we should all be paying for an extra plane seat for our infants and transporting them in their carseats because it 'really isn't safe any other way'.  She knows that it's hard to lug around carseats in an airport, but it really is the safest thing for them.  And while we're at it, we ought to consider bringing along Boy-o's carseat too.  The mind boggles at the entourage it would take to carry the children, carry-on arsenal AND two carseats through the airport witout requiring a trip to the looney bin.  The mind also boggles at what, exactly, the lady would like us to do about her safety opinions two seconds before take-off, with our car seats checked, and an overbooked flight.  Nevertheless - apparently we are bad, lazy, cheap parents. 

Then, just before take-off, she came over the intercom to inform my partner that she was holding Girlio incorrectly.  Over the intercom.  The intercom.  For starters, Girlio was facing backwards, standing on L's lap, with her head buried in L's neck, and her back, head and neck supported by L's arms.   We've taken off and landed like every other time we've flown.  But apparently she needed to be sitting down, facing backwards with her back and neck supported. (And if anyone can successfully undertake this feat with my child, I'll give 'em a million bucks). At any rate, now we are also negligent, slightly stupid parents (which everyone on the plane both wanted and needed to know).

Then, when we were getting off of the plane (having somehow - cheap, neglectful, morons that we are -successfully managed not to let our child get irreparably maimed or broken during take-off, in-flight turbulence, and landing), and we thought we were safely out of the clutches of flight-attendant-zilla, she takes aim at me this time.  As Girlio and I are departing the plane, she takes me aside and tells me: "See - children that are as active as her really need to travel in a carseat."  (And I should clarify that "active" in this context meant that she travelled from L's lap to mine, not up and down the aisle.)  I say  nothing and don't even try to act polite at this point.  But she continues bravely (or stupidly) on: "But she must be just about two, right?"  When I let her know that she's actually only 15 months, as I'm beginning to walk away, she calls after me (in a somewhat accusing voice) "Wow.  BIG girl."    (Not that it matters, but she's actually ridiculously average.  50th percentile in height and weight.  Just sayin').

So, just to recap, we are bad, lazy, cheap, negligent, slightly stupid parents, who have probably lied about our gigantic baby's age.

So Air Canada - your planes aren't nearly as nice as your competitor, your tickets are more expensive, you overbook your flights and your horrible flight attendant almost got thrown onto the tarmac yesterday.  And you can take my word for it when I say that no one on our flight woulda blamed me

You won't be benefitting from the proceeds of our credit card anymore.


  1. Wow. That's really awful. Maybe if carseats are really that important (because, you know, if the plane suddenly fell out of the sky and crashed into the ground, those carseats would *really* help a lot) then she should voice her concerns to her employer. Perhaps Air Canada would like to provide them for children? :)

  2. i absolutely HATE Air Canada and i will let everyone know this. i should have warned you. sorry. they are rude, uncaring pieces of you know what!! we have not flown with that airline ever since the incidence that i had with them. in that case, it was when my grampa had passed away. *grrrr* i would write them a letter but then again...they really do not deserve it. again. i am sorry that your flight was so crappy. *hugs*

  3. Wow... And like the car seat would help if the plane actually, you know, crashed...I think it's pointless.

    My uncle works for Air Canada and he is an ass so it must be a job requirement. :P

  4. P.S. We are more horrible than you as we didn't even bring the car seat and used a rental car's car seat when we flew with Riley at 18 months. :P I didn't want to lug that heavy thing around and I was told that if a car seat fell even a small distance, it would be unsafe so it was best not to travel with the thing at all.

  5. As an addendum to the I hate Air Canada rant - they tried to put Boy-o and I in a different row on the way home. Sure - no problem, don't sit the three year old with his parent. I'm sure he'll be fine all by himself. No worries. Stupid, stupid airline.

  6. I just flew West Jet and it was fantastic. You already know that. Air Canada blah to you! I seriously would have lost it in that situation since I am also an negligent parent.

  7. UGH. I'm so sorry for your experience. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

    We have an almost two year old, and we travel with her a few times a year. We've been back and forth between West Jet and Air Canada, and I'm sad to say that they BOTH suck for traveling with kids. I made five separate complaints to West Jet after our last experience... It was kind of horrific.

    The silver lining is that I've just decided to complain about everything that goes wrong (SO not like me...) and rack up flight credits so that our adorable little 'nuisance' can continue to fly for free after her birthday.

    A little passive aggressive, but whatever :)

  8. Couldn't you just have told her to fuck off? I mean really, what's the worst that could've happened? You would have had to fly WestJet? :D