Friday, August 6, 2010

oh those immoral, marriage-lovin' gays

I received a mass email today from the Courage Campaign, which is spearheading activism around the freedom to marry movement and against Prop 8 in the United States.  With yesterday's victory which saw Prop 8 struck down as unconstitutional by Judge Vaughn Walker barely hot off the presses, the religious right is up and raring to go.  The most salient aspects of the email follows:

"The American Family Association, part of the coalition of right-wing religious groups that spearheaded Proposition 8 in 2008, is asking its 2.3 million supporters to pressure Congress to impeach Judge Vaughn Walker. . . . AFA is using Judge Walker's sexual orientation to attack him as a "black-robed tyrant whose own lifestyle choices make it impossible to believe he could be impartial." Like the National Organization for Marriage, the AFA is rallying religious extremists to build a national backlash against Judge Walker's historic ruling striking down Prop 8. "   

The idea that loving gay people who want to commit their love to one another is more of a blight on marriage than say, God-lovin' bigamists in Utah and other states (many of whom could be members of the AFA), wife and child abusers (many of whom could be members of the AFA . . . uhhh - Mormon child brides anyone?), alcoholics (many of whom...), people who engage in dishonesty and infidelity (many of whom...), and so on and so forth.  How 'bout divorce?  Seems like maybe divorce might also be on the radar of the AFA.  Nope.  Not so much.  They don't really seem to care if ya cheat on your spouse, beat your wife, have ten wives to beat, or drink so much you couldn't possibly be an actual partner in a marriage.  They don't seem to care if your marriage is good or healthy or equal.  They don't seem to care if you're a dirty old man who wants to marry a few twelve year old girls.  They don't seem to care if ya get divorced, at least not enough to campaign against it.  What they really, really, really want to prevent, is the scourge of two men or two women lovingly commiting their lives to one another.   Yeah - cause that, it's just, you know, wrong.

So the AFA pisses me off.  (Okay, truth be told, they make me feel murderous).   But the thing that really makes me heartsick is regular America.  Not the far-right religious bigots.  They are who they are and they're not going to change any more than the Taliban is going to decide Muslim women should be free and equal participants in society.

But the regular, average, everyday Americans.  John and Jane Doe, with their kids Betty and Jimmy, who voted for Obama and deep in their heart of hearts, know that this entire debate, from its very foundations, is wrong.   Where is their voice?  Where is their outrage?  Why do they persist in letting people like the AFA speak for them?   It's this that makes me the saddest, and the least hopeful about the coming struggle for marriage rights (and human rights) for LGBT folks in the US, which is still busy dithering around on its ridiculous "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. 

So I'm gonna end this by sending out big love and hugs and courage to my queer American pals, their families and their kids.  And to Judge Vaughn Walker, who does not deserve to bear the brunt of such hatefulness.  My heart and my anger and my voice is with you...

And for goodness sake, America - the straight but not narrow, wherever you are... Stand-up and say "Nope. Nuh-uh. No Way! Not in my name!"  Drown out that hateful, crazy, vocal minority.


  1. I think you meant the AFA, not the AMA, a bunch of times here....but other than that, right on sister! :)

  2. Right you are! And how embarrassing! And fixed :)

  3. That prop 8 stuff is just weird, it sounds like the kinda stuff they say in the middle east instead of America. I was totally shocked when I got married in Vegas earlier this year that they don't do same sex marriages, it seems very very unfair! I suppose because it's no big deal here in the UK I expected it to be the same over the pond.

  4. HELLS YEAH to pretty much every single thing you wrote here. It blows my mind that so many people are so obsessed with whether we should be able to get married. I dont give a shit what straight ppl do, why do they care SO MUCH what we do!?!

    Amen sista. And I pray that the judge doesnt suffer for making a just ruling, based on his own sexual orientation.

  5. Yes, yes, and yes.

    Here's a bit of info that might blow your socks off (it's something I've been unable to integrate into my understanding of the world, but like it muchly.) My ex, who I love to hate because he's generally an ass, is a straight dude... who actually engages in activism, dangerous activism even, for gay rights. He doesn't want to pay child support for his children or give me credit for my years of domestic work, but he takes on crooked cops in riot situations in middle east, defending transpeople. I don't get it. But I'll take it, that's for sure.

    He's rare (and mostly in shitty ways, but since he's my kids' father, I have to remind myself of his good points) but wouldn't it be great if more straight people would take meaningful stands?

  6. Yes - it is wonderful to hear about straight folks defending queer rights. (and wow- that sounds like some crazy scary situation, Imcombobulated!) And I do know there's scads of marvellous straight folk out there, making noise on our behalf (bless their queer-lovin' hearts!) But I also know there's scads of folks who stay quiet and say nothing... i's the quiet that drives me crazy!