Tuesday, October 18, 2011

look what my fat self stumbled upon...(!)

Warning: This post will instill rage (and possibly longing for a rooftop and an AK47 in most sensible people.  Resist the urge.  Violence is never the answer.  - well - almost never.)

So there I was, hanging out with my good friend google, doing various searches for PhD-ish related topics.  And I had the stunning misfortune to stumble upon this site: http://www.caloriesperhour.com/forums/forum54/12677.html and a conversation forum called: Tough Love - on the topic of fat moms.   I hate to say that I'm shocked about what I read there, because I really ought not to be.   Still, every once in awhiile bold-face ignorance can reach up and give you a little slap in the face.  Below is the transcript of my 'little slap.'

"Before I start I will preface this with a brief explanation of how the scientific method works. Sometimes a theory or a premise is proposed and that theory or premise either get proved to disproved to within what is considered the current scientific certainty. Another and more common method is observation. You observe something like the stars, plants or animals and you draw a conclusion after intense and thorough observation. We can all agree on the fact that birds fly, our sun is a star and that most plants grow using photosynthesis.

For a long time my team and I have observed fatlings in their environment. We watch their behaviors. We see what the put in their shopping carts. We see that they avoid. We see how they interact with normals and others of their kind.
Childhood obesity is a travesty. The biggest shame is that it is preventable but those few of us leanlings that are left will not confront the uncaring mother who is irresponsible when in come to providing her children the nutrition they require to be healthy. It starts when she squirt the kid out of her toxic womb.

We have observed maybe 2000 mothers with infants and toddlers and here is what we found. When the babies of normal mothers get fussy or cry the normal mother is more likely to pick that baby up and comfort it and check first to see if something is wrong. Fat mothers are far more likely to offer the child a bottle, pacifier or food to quell their fussiness.

Now for the theory. We theorize that doing that teaches the child that food is love and that food solves problems. It is like the child who experiences corporal punishment and see violence as a solution to all problems.

Here is the bottom line. Fat mothers are bad mothers. They need to put on their adult pants and do right by their kids."

Sigh.  So there it is.  I really need to put on my adult pants.  I repent!  I repent!  I shall start teaching my children to count their calories and hate their bodies first thing tomorrow.   Can I join your club of thin and ignorant?  Pretty, pretty, pretty please?  If I promise never, ever to use my toxic womb again?

Wow.  Just, you know, wow.

Dahlinks - you may be skinny and certain of your moral high ground here - but I gotta tell you.  You really ought to be a bit worried about pissing off the fat chicks.  'Cause I could drop-kick your skinny ass if I thought it was worth the effort.  True story.  Proved via scientific observation and everything. 


  1. Okay, that is beyond disturbing. And also, the grammar sucks.

  2. Holy crap. I never knew I was a fatling, but I'm glad to have a name. Wait a sec, I'm a Fatling, but I have Leanlings, even though every time they cried I shoved a BOOB in and er, still do for my toddler. How is that possible with the scientific theroy and everything??