Sunday, December 5, 2010


So I'm at the airport this morning, really early (as in only one coffee early), picking up my visiting mom with Boy-o.   Miraculously, after a mad-dash drive in which Boy-o repeatedly asks if I am speeding, we arrived a few minutes ahead of schedule.  So in order to occupy my buzzingly excited little urchin, we hopped up on the side of this fountain thingy (for Edmontonians - it's the thing right in front of the Booster Juice) that has a super wide stone pathway all the way around it, and pretended we were airplanes circling the airport.  It was keeping Boy-o spectacularly happy and busy, though, I am highly aware that I looked like a bit of a fool.  Anyhow - the diversio was a win - win.  Well okay, it might have been a win-lose, since I mostly looked like an idiot, but that's the price you pay for having kids. 

Anyways, there we are merrily amusing ourselves (and/or looking foolish) when this lady comes by, shoots me this gloriously, blisteringly dirty look and feels compelled to loudly inform me (and anyone else in the vicinity) that I'd "better watch and make sure he doesn't fall."  As if I were letting him run around on the edge of a skyscraper or the edge of the Grand Canyon, and not some barely two foot high, pathetically empty water feature.  As if I were a total and complete idiot in dire need of some random-cranky-lady-advice.  As if I am the crappiest parent she's ever laid eyes on.  I loudly 'reassured' her:  "Oh it's okay - he bounces."  In other words - back off lady.  Mama's on the job.  She scowled and slunk off.

Why?  Why?  Why do you reckon this random passing cranky lady felt that she had the right to tell me how to properly parent my child?  Where do you suppose this urge comes from?  It's not like I'd left him alone to run willy-nilly.  I was right there (running willy-nilly with him, but that's sort of besides the point).  I should have just said: "Helllllooooooooooo!  I'm right here!!!"  or alternatively: "Man, if you think this is dangerous, you should see him juggle the flaming gas canisters while running with scissors!"  But I can never think of those things off the cuff.

Anyhow - a big growl-out to you bossy, cranky, know-it-all lady.  You should know that there's only room for one bossy-cranky-know-it-all lady in my life, and I currently hold that esteemed position.  Alrighty?


  1. Over the years (and there are a lot of them behind me as I approach the half-century mark)I've developed a reputation for being quick.

    But it's not because I AM quick. It's because I thought of great remarks AFTER the fact.

    And because history eventually repeats itself, or something happens that was close to the original, I now have a huge repertoire of smart ass remarks, snarky attitude and witty rejoinders.

    So that lady's twin will eventually cross your path. And when she does, you'll be ready.

  2. There are few things richer than contently watching a parent play with their adoring child. Some sad sad people need to gain some perspective.
    (I might have a different perspective m'self though, re: the gasoline & scissors bit!)