Thursday, May 6, 2010

A Letter to My Wifey for Mother's Day...

Dearest Wifey -

You do not get nearly enough credit for being an amazing mommy.  Partly because I am the stay-at-homer, and partly because we live in a homophobic world that can render invisible the role of non-bio mom in a two mom partnership, I am usually the more visible mama.  So this is my paltry effort to tell the world just a few of the reasons why you are the absolute fucking bomb. 

So here goes:

1. You never, never, ever fail to thank your stay-at-home wifey for making you dinner.  

2.  No matter how tired you are when you get home, you still manage to muster up the energy and enthusiasm to go "sky-diving" with Boy-o, or give Girlio a ride on your shoulders; to change bedsheets and diapers; for bedtime and bathtime; to be really and fully present.

3.  No matter how much work you've brought home with you at night, the kidlets always come first, which often means your ability to get much needed sleep comes a far distant second.

4.  You spend your days doing genuinely hard, gut-wrenching kinda work that pays meh, when you could be doing "big-box" work that pays lots, because you honestly believe it will help make the world a better place for our kiddies.

5.  You work your ass off, and shoulder all of the financial burden of our life, as well as the financial worry,  so that I can stay at home with the munchkins, and that is no small thing.

6.  You tell me often how much you believe my stay-at-home contribution to our lives is as important as yours, and that's no small thing, either. 

7.  You are an adult who never lost their ability to play, and you always find joy in getting down on the floor and playing with the kids.

8.  You have a gift of being able to really relate to kids where they're at, in a way that makes them feel so valued and loved.

9.  You somehow manage to find a way to be gentle and measured, even when I am ready to lose my mind and ship them off to military school.

10.  It would never even occur to you that you should get up with the bubs less often than me, no matter how important your trial is the next morning.   (I am not sure you realize just how deliciously rare this is).

Though there are a million and one other reasons why you are fan-fucking-tastic, I just wanted to let you know that I think you are such a wonderful partner, and such an amazing, dedicated and loving parent.  From the time you helped me hold up my shuddering, labouring body, danced me through contractions, and cut each of our babies' cords, you've been there with me every step of the way on this wild, scary, wonderful, challenging journey.  

I know I don't say it nearly enough.  But - thank you.  For being such a kick-ass mommy, for being such supportive partner, for being you.

Happy (3rd) Mother's Day.


Your Wifey


  1. A touching tribute from one mother to another! We could all learn from you how to appreciate our spouses better! Phyllis W

  2. So lovely. Mostly undeserved. Every bit appreciated. Can't thank you enough, even if you did make me cry at work.

    xo L.

  3. that is fantastic. And I am blown away she gets up just as often as you do at night. She is a KEEPER....

  4. This is lovely to read. I have let it go too long between my own letters of appreciation to my wife...thank you for reminding me I should do this too!

  5. beautiful. absolutely beautiful! and very touching.