I have had several (and I DO mean several) what-the-eff-am-I-doing-? moments in the last little while. So, in an effort to convince myself that I'm not actually a bumbling oaf of a human being, I re-read Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection, an area which I am the moment, I am feeling particularly, um, gifted in. But - though I really loathe self-helpy stuff, I quite love Brene Brown. She is honest and talks about her imperfection's so bravely. It's bloody refreshing. Plus she swears, and that's a self-helpy book I can get behind ;).
Anyhoo - the re-read was good. I am feeling, though certainly no less imperfect, much more grounded in my imperfections. I was particularly struck by her words in closing, some of which I've posted below - just in case any of you and feeling a bit what-the-eff-am-I-doing-? too.
On her idea of a Wholehearted Revolution:
A small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, "My story matters because I matter." A movement where we can take to the streets with our messy, imperfect, wild, stretch marked, wonderful, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives. A movement fueled by the freedom that comes when we stop pretending that everything is okay when it isn't. A call that rises up from our bellies when we find the courage to celebrate those intensely joyful moments even though we've convinced ourselves that savouring happiness is inviting disaster.
Revolution might seem a bit dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance. You're going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people -- including yourself. One minute you'll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you'll pray that it never ends. You'll also wonder how you can feel feel so brave and so afraid at the same time.