"Oh my god! Do you just sit around on Facebook all day?!"
"I wish I could spend my days hanging out on Facebook instead of going to work."
"You sure update your status a lot/post a lot on Facebook."
Yup. I spend a lot of time of Facebook, and the computer in general. I'm probably a bit on an addict and I'll be the first one to admit it. (Hello, My name is Mama T and I'm a face-crack-head). HOWEVER, and this is a big however, I kinda hate the undertones of the above statements. Beyond the "I'm-cooler-than-you-and-have-much-better-things-to-do-with-my-time" insinuation, there is also (particularly in the second statement, which I tend to get most often) intrinsic assumptions about what life as a stay-at-home mama looks like.
Just as an example of my days: Today's work day started at 5:15 a.m. And - aside from lazing around on ye olde crackbook, I have also: made breakfast, cleaned up from breakfast, washed, dried, folded and put away four loads of laundry, cleaned and tidied the kitchen and living room (twice, because some little buggers promptly messed them up again straight away), changed several diapers, interrupted and mediated several screaming matches and a few fisticuffs, got dinner for tonight (my night away and L's night with the kids) prepped and simmering on the stove, bathed the children, made them lunch, packed Boy-o's bag and snack for school, helped him with his home reading assignment, read several books to the kids and got the boy off to the school bus. Before 11:30 a.m. You know, just another lazy face crack day. (There may or may not have been some bonbons involved, naturally).
Moreover, I sort of see Facebook as my way of having interaction with the world. I've said it once, I've said it a million-zillion times: being a stay-at-home mama is holy-hella isolating. I don't come into contact with many (or on most days, any) adults in my daily on-the-job life. Think about how many conversations around the water cooler most work-outside-the-home people have had by, say, 11:30 a.m.; how many co-workers they've run into and casually asked how they are, or shared a juicy tidbit of gossip, or had a wee bitch session about their boss. That's an impossibility for me. No one asks me how I am in a day, or shares gossip, or a bitch about their boss. I don't get to ask other people how they are in a day, or share gossip, or bitch about my bosses (those cute little tyrants!) .... except on Facebook. You see what I'm getting at here?
I do update my status a lot. And post a lot. It's my way, I think, of being out in the world when I can't actually, you know, be out in the world. And the people that tend to comment a lot on my statuses and posts are my other stay-at-home mama friends - trying to be out there in the world, too.
So yeah. I'm a Facebook addict and I'm o.k. It makes me feel less invisible and less disconnected. And for the record, though I shouldn't need to say it, even once, I work bloody effing hard. My work days average in at well over twelve hours most of the time, and often run into the overnights. (And as an aside, YES - I chose my job. Why do people say things like that to parents when they talk about parenting being hard? Did they not also choose the job they bitch about? Don't most people choose their jobs?).
Anyhoo - please don't insinuate that you work harder than me because you spend less time online. It makes this stay-at-home mama all riled up.
And if that happens, you know what comes next...
I might have to post about it on Facebook ;)