I was having coffee with someone yesterday, talking about some life upheaval or another, and she asked me: "What's your best case scenario?" This stumped me. Really. Stumped. Best case scenario? A life in momentary perfection? Foreign - even in the land of my imagination.
For so long, I've only allowed myself to think in the realm of worst case scenario. My philosophy has always been - if you imagine the worst, you'll never be horribly disappointed. In fact, as a teenager I convinced myself that if I could picture something happening, it wouldn't. So if you picture the worst, maybe it won't happen? That piece of superstition has stayed with me into adulthood, though I can recognize it as totally irrational. Yeah - I catch myself getting caught up in that hopeful daydream-y place sometimes, but I generally try to smack it down as quickly as it comes up.
But it occurs, suddenly, that perhaps that's cheating myself a bit. If you can't even let yourself envision the things you really want, how can you work towards them? Or further still, if you can't even allow yourself to envision those things you might really want, how do you believe you might actually deserve them?
So - renaissance project #145 - picture the happy place and see what comes of it.