So- it's Halloween. The kids have been HELL all day. Freaky, weird, blow-your-socks-off, drop-the-f-bomb-more-than-once kind of hell. I'm trying to get dinner on the table so that we can get faces painted, costumes on, and the kids out the door. And I tell the kids how when I was little, we used to say "Halloween Apples!" at the door instead of "trick or treat!".
And Boy-o asks - "Was Girlio in your tummy then?"
Me: "No honey, I was just a kid like you. You have to be a grown-up to have a baby in your tummy" (lie #1).
Boy-o: "Well, how do babies get IN your tummy?"
L takes this opportunity to begin: "Well, when two people love each other, they work really hard to have a baby..." (Lie #2 - you don't have to love or even like each other to make a baby, but we'll leave the joys of casual sex for another day, say when he's six or so).
Me: "Honey - you have to have eggs from a woman's body and sperm from a man's body to make a baby. They get all mixed up and then hang out in the woman's belly and a baby grows."
Boy-o looks at me quizzically.
Me: "Yeah, I know, Mama and Mommy didn't have any sperm from a man to make a baby" Bit of a pause... "So we went shopping!"
And Boy-o, satisfied, goes back to the business of getting ready for supper.